August is a big month for me as it is my birthday month. The cliché of birthdays becoming less important as we age holds true for the likes of Random Girl. It’s tempting to let this one slip past, but then I would miss out on the little Danish flags which seem to monopolise the traditional birthday adornments and paraphernalia here. It’s a big part of celebrations here to festoon the appointed venue with an explosion of red and white as though to say, ‘You’re in Denmark!…oh, and it’s your birthday too…yeah, good for you. You’re in Denmark!’
As simple as this sounds, in fact I would like to hold a party just to hang little flags everywhere, stick toothpick flags in cupcakes, and have “Happy Birthday” sung to me in Danish. But not to celebrate being another year older. If anything, I feel I’m getting younger as time passes. Should the party theme be “Act your age” or, “You are only as old as you feel.” Do they sell nappies in adult size? I’m all for a good time, but sometimes I feel that planning a party is sometimes…too planned. Know what I mean?
Now, something you might not know about Random Girl is that, due to the grace of good genes – I look a lot younger than I am. No, I won’t tell you how old. But I will say that I am consistently aged at about ten years younger. Honestly not a case of mutton-dressed-as-lamb (I hope!), it’s partly genetic, partly lifestyle - and certainly unplanned (who wants to get id'd for cigarettes at this age?!?) Mostly, I think it comes down to attitude. The glass remains half-full despite having accrued enough life experience to see me exposed to the dark face of cynicism, which I am vehemently opposed to. That, and not planning things ‘for when I’m old’…cause when the hell does that kick in anyway?
One of the points of contention relates inevitably to ‘where I am in life’. For my age (on paper anyway), should I not be more ‘settled’? Perhaps I should be concentrating my time with people ‘my own age?’ Perhaps I should be homeowner, buy a car and shop for furniture. Perhaps I should have a baby. Perhaps I should be preparing for retirement now. I honestly don’t know where the ‘should’ in all that comes from.
Don’t get me wrong, I do think it’s good to have a plan for a rainy day. But I think there is such a thing as too much planning. Moreover, most of the planning I’ve done in the past never came to fruition in the way that I had planned! Often, it’s turned out for the worst. Many times, it’s turned out for the better.
In the midst of the last busy month of language classes (which continue by the way – selvfølgelig!), RG has seen some (unplanned) poo hit the ubiquitous fan. Minor let downs and complications that have, if not tarnished, ever so slightly dulled the sparkle that is my usual (unplanned) day-to-day life. I was getting fatigued by it, but set my resolve to take on the mess, Marigolds* a-blazing! Now, having fastidiously addressed the ‘bad luck’, I’m pretty sure life has been sanitised and reinstated to a fresh smiley status. Jeg er frisk! But it could have easily ended up in a different state had I not stopped and examined the damages in detail, in order to address them thoroughly. Settle for a quick sweep, and you will still be infected with the residual bits, which have a tendency to fester.
Now back on form, I find myself faced with the (unplanned) challenge of finding a new place to live. My rent is about to go up so I have to move. RG really feels like ‘The Littlest Hobo’ sometimes - endlessly roaming from home to home in my, if I may, quietly heroic fashion (as little hobos do). And before you see me drown in my own pomposity, remember I’ve just compared myself to a German shepherd…
Settling here for a year never guaranteed me a settled life, no matter what preparations were made. I am optimistic about the future and hopeful as ever that there will be another place to call home out there. I am equally optimistic that this will represent yet another chapter during which I will learn more about myself. Oh, but alas, how I will miss Konrad and his cat-itude…
I stopped thinking too far ahead a long time ago. I’m just too accustomed to the surprises. I say, instead of locking yourself to a plan, learn to adapt. Even just now, within the last hour, I met a Spanish couple stranded outside of a flat they had booked for a week for their holiday having been promised by the booking agency someone would be there (after their long journey) to meet them with keys in hand. They were exhausted and angry having waited almost two hours in the street for any sign of life. As it is, they were finally rescued and have subsequently invited me for a beer for my attempts to reassure them and sooth their understandable angst. For doing nothing other than talking to them, I have received a kind message from my ‘new friends’ from Barcelona who I am sure to meet again during their stay. Their plans were temporarily scuppered, but we all gained something from it.
I believe that the ‘best’ that is yet to come, will come from out of the blue (cue the recent spontaneous message from that same devastatingly handsome man RG had met weeks ago!). I cannot help but believe in the power of chance and being positively open to what the stars throw down to me, even if it seems bad at first. Anything is possible. I would never have imagined I would be up to what I was up to last Saturday night. And no, you don’t get to know that either.
Life, to me, is about learning, and learning is a graduated process. Meanwhile, living is not. However tempting it is to jump to the last page to see whether all this effort proves worthwhile (or to plan towards that singular outcome), I’m more concerned that skipping chapters means missing out on a lot of detail and richness. I would not miss out. The ending just wouldn’t mean a thing.
Random Girl
*rubber cleaning gloves in glorious yellow
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