Random Girl has been subject to some upheaval of late due to unforeseen circumstances surrounding my housing situation (which is my poor excuse for the long gap in writing – sorry!). The details needn’t be aired here, but let’s just say the turn of events have been unusual and difficult to fathom for this random girl. They chart a sweeping movement from good to bad – in a Skywalker kind of way even. ("Darth Vader is Luke’s father?!") So I’ve moved on at the expense of considerable time, energy and money, as well as a notable degree of disappointment.
Life can blow hot and cold. Following one of the wettest summers in Copenhagen, a sudden burst of summertime weather landed on the first day of October. It was a glorious day. I was on my way to my friend’s place (where I am to house-sit for the next month) talking small talk in broken Danish to the taxi driver about the freak late burst of heat and sunshine. Rather than running about soaking in the October sun, I got busy trying to settle in and acclimatise in that transition to new surroundings, preparing also for the moment down the line when, after the month rolls out, I’ll formally move into my new residence where I'll seek to 'settle in' yet again. I’ve always seen myself as nomadic, but even I have to admit, it’s all been a bit confusing. Starting again and again over a concentrated period of time can be wearing. On the bright side, I'm certainly getting to know the different neighbourhoods in Copenhagen…wahey.
I think I have come to that part of the experience of living somewhere new when isolation and homesickness kicks in. I have been here for four months and in that time, things kicked in pretty fast – new adventures, new friends, a new language and fresh sights and sounds. Meanwhile, I continue to face, head-on, any fears linked to my ‘random’ decision to come here in order to challenge myself. Any experience will have its good and bad sides. I’ve always been aware of that. But this is one of those accursed moments when doubt has crept in (and we all have those moments).
I feel shipwrecked and adrift after a storm that came without warning. Like I said, this recent run of events has cost me energy, time and money. It’s also cost me a little bit of hope…at least in terms of what I’m trying to get out of this year. As such, I am frustrated that I have to spend what precious energy I have, establishing my bearings again so that I can start swimming. Sure, I’ve weathered many a storm before, but having been out in some choppy open water for a while, I do feel weary. I also had my first take-down off my bike yesterday in a moderate collision with 'Simon', who was very apologetic (sorry about your ripped pocket, dude!). My hands are up...I’m in a ‘poor me’ moment and want my mommy!
For now, I’m enjoying the peace of having my friend’s place all to myself for the next little while, and the sun shining on the balcony. I’m also really enjoying the peanut M&Ms sitting brightly in a bowl next to my laptop. Here at long last is an opportunity to recoup the energy I’ve spent on this…well…rather annoying practical issue so that I can forge ahead with the things that really matter. I’m just a bit tired and, craving a group hug myself, I’m sending one to all out there who may also have hit a rough patch. If the summer sun can show up in Denmark in October, then there is hope for us all!!
Keep living, loving and laughing,
Random Girl
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