I smiled and asked, “Isn’t that what we said last year?” “Yes”, he replied, “and we’ll say the same thing next year.” “Do you think even if it IS a better year that we’ll even realise it come this time next year?” “No. We’ll just say the same thing.” “And it has nothing to do with whether it was a bad year or not…” “Nope.” “It’s just the time of year isn’t it?” “Yes.” “Hmmm, isn’t that funny?” “Yes.” Smiles. “Well, have a good one anyway.” “Thanks, you too.”
Only a half hour or so before this, I was in the local laundromat (eller møntvask) contemplating my life’s cycle in the middle of the spin cycle. I considered my usual inclination for serious reflection at this time of year (as you do), and what could otherwise be described as apprehension in the approach to the big-bang celebrations due to take place. The shops are selling sparkly hats, party games and joke glasses. We are to wear sparkly hats, play party games and laugh at each other’s joke glasses, or indeed, the joke bowtie which can actually squirt water at people. Many get blinding drunk either to drown the woes of the past year, or throw abandon to the wind for the future (that is, before throwing it up in the neighbours hedge, if they are lucky).
I always like the first day of the year more than the last. It’s waking up after a good night’s sleep instead of sinking in at the end of a day’s work. The first day is about looking forward, while the last is about looking back. The calendar marks a time of shift when things change for us auto-magically…or are supposed to. We only have to look at a clock face and drink champagne and ‘poof’, the world is supposed to be different. Is this what this time of year is about?
Imposed change is somehow easier to stomach than voluntary change. Now is the time to get a list together of all the things that we are going to commit to make happen. Resolutions. We’ve all tried to make them, meanwhile knowing that we are allowed to let that commitment slide. When the sparkly hats disappear, why then does our resolve become less resolute? This is just a small meditation on the ‘magic’ of this season and how it inspires us…even if it is only via a sparkly hat and a sparkling glass of something or other. Bear with me here, but aren’t we now just a bit too cynical about the cyclical sense of inspiration that this cycle reiterates because it’s so cyclically disappointing when the magic fades again and again?
Today I saw an elderly woman wearing a silver puffy coat five sizes too big for her. Add to that the fact that her face/head was tiny and extremely wrinkled to the point where she resembled a dried apple wrapped in a blanket of tin foil. I wondered what she would wish for at this time of year…a puffier head? A less puffy coat? Actually, she looked pretty happy to me (and warm!).
I suggest making a resolution to begin a revolution against the cycle. As 2011 rolls over to 2012, I am reminded that change can happen at any time of the year. On reflection, I know I made the most of 2011, for all its ups and downs. I feel I have stayed true to my commitment to pursue what I define as a happy life, and also to the task at hand as best I could. But then the whole year was about change for me, so maybe I’m just resolved to continue what I’m doing – keep growing, keep hoping, keep sharing and keep caring. Okay, and smoke a few less cigarettes. Happy now? ;)
Very best wishes to all those hoping for something better, and courage to those who decide they are going to just find something…different. For my part, I do feel that there are things I could take greater affirmative action on (more writing please), and I’m conscious of those shortfalls that have tripped me up from time to time. In truth though, I mostly just look forward to seeing how this year will expand who I am, while aiming to keep that ‘sparkle’ in my life all year round. I’m optimistic. Hope you are too.
Random Girl
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