One Friday night a couple of weeks ago, Random Girl read through Allen Carr’s, The Easy Way to Stop Smoking, in one sitting and just like that, launched herself back into the land of the non-smoker, for good! I wasn’t even in a place where I thought, “I have to quit”. It was more of a case of hearing of the book and thinking, “Let’s see if this works”. What do you know? It did!
I always thought, "Yes, one day I’ll be a non-smoker again, but I’m enjoying this today and I’ll see how I feel tomorrow." While never a particularly heavy smoker, I still struggled to let go of the ‘luxury’ of that one cigarette which would relax or calm or stimulate blah blah etc etc etc. Mr Carr reinforces the fact that cigarettes do not actually do any of these things for us. In real terms, they have a purpose tantamount to chewing on a piece of newspaper, and an effect even less appealing. He says it is this misconception that smoking provides us with something we need - be it physical or psychological – that keeps smokers smoking, irrespective of its entirely bad aspects. So instead of emphasising the obvious reasons why smoking is bad for you (which never stops smokers from smoking, as any smoker can tell you), the book devalues the ‘weed’ completely by debunking these misconceptions that help to perpetuate the smoker’s impulse to continue smoking (including, I might add, the myth that quitting smoking is 'hard to do'.)
Such logic resonated with RG. Suddenly, instead of this rebellious little act, I now see smoking as a useless exercise. It’s not about smoking being 'uncool', it has just suddenly become…purposeless. These past couple weeks I've breezed through what would historically have been the ‘tests’ of my will – a period of heartache, the night out with your friends who are still smokers, the erstwhile essential pre- and post-work fag, and even just seeing smokers while walking down the street – I’ve managed to turn a surprisingly calm blind eye to it. And rather than feeling any ambivalence, I actually just feel indifference. Gone is that familiar pang of ‘oh, maybe just one’ or ‘maybe just one drag’. The emotional connection has vanished thanks to Mr Carr’s sound logic which underlines how quitting something so useless means we are not actually giving up anything at all. At the point when you’ve had your last, the goal is to know that you have not only quit, but you have just had the last cigarette you will ever have in your life. Thanks Mr Carr! Quitting smoking has been, as you say, liberating.
Meanwhile, as you may well know by now, I have spent many months working through my thoughts for the near and distant future. Life in London or life in Copenhagen? I’ve decided to set down in Denmark for a while. I’ve decided it’s time to quit London.
Reactions to my big decision have been super positive. Then again, is it even a decision that I’ve made? Here again, like smoking, life in London just doesn’t seem to make sense to me anymore. In one way, I think you could almost compare London life to being a nicotine addict. It gives you a ‘rush’ then drains you completely waiting for you to replace the rush all over again, while leaving you tired all the time. Being a non-smoker leaves me feeling I have more energy. Being in Copenhagen leaves me feeling I have more peace and balance.
Two days ago I took my guitar to a place called KMC Musik to replace a busted string. I ended up meeting the owner Harry who spoke of how he used to have eleven similar shops across Denmark, but now only has the one saying that downsizing had simplified his life in a good way. He told me that his wife had passed away three months prior and went on to explain how this turn of events had changed his perspective intensely, leaving him more relaxed about things in general.
We spoke of many things while he replaced the broken ‘A’ string and tuned my guitar. We sat together and compared different guitar models and playing styles. We talked about how much we loved the blues. He told me how he had always worked in and been around the music industry. Back in the day, he had lived in San Francisco and had actually spent time with the likes of Janis Joplin and Jimmy Hendrix ("No way!" Way!) He showed me the epic 1957 Gibson Les Paul he is selling for the bargain price of one million Danish kroner (he said he hoped no one ever buys it). He surprised me further by telling me he teaches Shindokan Goju Kai karate and that he was, in fact, a 7. Dan sensai and ordained priest of some Japanese temple…I can’t even remember all the details but it's on his website :). In the guise of this soft-spoken, 60-something spectacled man re-stringing my guitar, was an entrepreneurial monolith who could very well [gasp, dare I say it] give Chuck Norris a run for his chest hair, and who, in all likelihood, had probably re-strung the guitar of Jimi Hendrix! I was stunned. Enter RG’s new hero!
Subsequent to our lovely conversation, Harry graciously gifted me the new string, as well as a spare plectrum and a key-winder for the road, so long as I agreed to never to quit playing my guitar/learning. In fact, he encouraged me never to quit doing what makes me happy, no matter what. Truth be told, it’s always been RG’s way, but I’ll take that reminder from the likes of sensei Harry any day!
Sometimes, yes, you just have to quit and move on, other times you stay and fight the good fight. I think life is about learning how to discern between the two. There are many times I wish I had just walked away, but then I would have been the lesser for it. There are definitely times I wish I'd fought harder! It can be difficult to work out whether we really are on the right track sometimes, but I would also argue that the road of integrity is usually well-defined...it just isn’t always the easiest road to take.
The key is to ensure that you are not ‘quitting’ what is essential to you today, for the sake of some idea of tomorrow. Living today is what counts. The rest will take care of itself.
Random Girl
p.s. - Best wishes to any smokers wanting to quit...try reading that book! Thanks to A, for inspiring me.
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